Heather Erickson plays a lot of roles, a primary cancer caregiver, a Mom, a wife, a teacher, an author, a blogger. The list goes on. And most recently she's assumed the role of our Caregiver Klatch Champion!
Just one? I did recently take 1st place in a duck decoy carving competition. It was my first duck, too. Home for me is anywhere my family is. We live in Blaine, Minnesota.
I don’t know if you ever get off of this journey once you get on. My husband was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in 2012. We are beginning to see the end of his time with us approaching, but then I will be left to pick up the pieces and go on. We have kids that I am homeschooling right now, and one in college. So, we’ll all still be walking the road, trying to heal.
I met Kyle when you guys were first getting Jack’s going. I remember thinking how awesome it was that Jack's was doing something exclusively for men who were caregivers. I admit, I was also a little jealous, though. You guys seemed to have a pretty cool thing going on. So about a year ago, I learned through Angel Foundation that you were having a co-ed Caregiver Klatch, so I thought I’d check it out.
The first thing I noticed was there wasn’t anyone telling us what we were going to talk about. It was completely up to us what we discussed and for how long. Because of that, one Klatch can be totally different from the next, just because of who shows up.
The food was great. What was even better was being able to talk to other caregivers exclusively. In other groups I’ve taken part in, there us usually someone there that you worry you might offend if you are completely honest about how you’re doing. When it’s just caregivers, you don’t have to censor yourself. There’s a shared experience that you all have. There’s something very comfortable about that. As I drove home, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
From the very beginning, I completely believed in the Jack’s mission of being there for men who are cancer caregivers. The Klatch is such a phenomenal experience. I knew I would want to go every month, anyway. So why not support it by leading? It’s been a great experience. One of the things that has impressed me the most is how on top of things you guys are.
It’s not really one thing (at least not that I can talk about since we protect participant’s privacy). Every week, I am amazed at the way participants of the Klatch support one another. One participant described it as a safe place to share what’s on your mind.
Currently we have been partnering with Angel Foundation, an organization that supports families facing cancer. They also have an emergency financial assistance program. The great thing about having Angel Foundation in on some of the Klatches is the expertise they bring to the table when someone has kids and they are concerned about their well-being.
We are also partnering with Cancer Legal Care. They provide referrals to free legal assistance for people facing cancer. My husband and I used their services in the beginning of our journey to get all of our legal ducks in a row. They were wonderful! An illness like cancer can really bring upheaval to your life. Whether it’s dealing with disability or writing up a will, it’s great to know there’s somewhere you can turn for help. So I’m super excited to have one of their representatives with us at our next Klatch on April 5th.
Oh, yes. Whether people want to admit it or not, there are so many differences between men and women. And even with all of the changes in our roles in society, the truth is, we tend to fall into certain roles in our families. This is particularly true when it comes to who runs the home itself. That usually falls to women. So, when a man becomes a caregiver, they suddenly are thrust into this new role of caring for the kids and washing laundry. Plus, they still have to go to work every day. It’s a lot to take in. They want to be strong. Women seem to be more comfortable asking for help and advocating for themselves. That’s how I came to Jack’s. But they are also really scared.
Jack’s is there to care for men who are caregivers, by meeting them where they are, with no agenda, leaving them better off than they were before. That might be an ice-fishing trip where they can just kick back and have a good time with other men who are caregivers. Or it might mean sharing some great food and drinks while they talk about what’s happening in their lives, in a way they can’t do with people who aren’t caregivers. My goal is to enable everyone who wants to talk to be heard. I want to respect who they are and their story. I also want to make sure that everyone has plenty to eat and drink. So, I try to anticipate these things in advance. The great staff at the Common Roots Café is very attentive. It’s about seeing what can be done to better meet the needs of the people who show up.
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